Money Matters, Does it? or It Does Not?

A friend texted me, she was asking my opinion if she is about to be introduced to a guy that earn less that she did. The introduction is meant to end in marriage, if both parties agreed, not just meeting some random acquaintances. Here's what I think, (mix a bit of both English and Malay..sorry.. :) )

Dalam hadis ada menyebut tentang cara memilih jodoh, perempuan macam mana....maybe kita boleh ambik sedikit sebanyak...

"Wanita dinikahi kerana empat faktor, yakni kerana harta kekayaannya, kerana kedudukannya,kerana kecantikannya dan kerana agamanya. Hendaknya pilihlah yang beragama agar berkat kedua tanganmu. " (HR. Muslim)
 

1. Harta kekayaan, yang ni subjektif, not necessarily duit yang banyak, boleh juga jadi budi bahasa, sopan santun dan budi pekerti. Memang duit tu penting, tapi kalau kaya tapi miskin budi bahasa, kita nak jatuh cinta pon susah kan, belum bab nak blend in ngan family kita lagi..
 
2. Kedudukan...hmm..kedudukan di mata siapa? mata manusia, atau mata Allah...? pada aku pada mata Allah yang patut kita target. Yang ni kita kena nilai sendiri, there is no shortcut way to it. Aku cadangkan, kenal dulu...tgk mcm mana gaya dia, pada aku, orang yang ada kedudukan di mata Allah, hidupnya dirahmati, dalam kata lain, x bnyk masalah yang pelik2 dan complicated...and miskin is not one of them. Miskin is just a condition they are born with. If he managed to demonstrate that he has work his best nak kurangkan jurang kemiskinan, good for him, orang macam ni ada potensi. Nampak dia ada usaha nak tingkatkan kualiti hidup. Orang yang tak dirahmati Allah sentiasa dalam masalah, not the kind that yang Allah nak uji, tapi masalah yang terang2 cari sendiri. Now you don't want to drag yourself in his neverending problem. Aku tau memang susah nak tau orang tu ada masalah ke tak kalo takat jumpa 2-3 kali, tapi bab2 ni ko boleh risik2 rasanya..

3. Kecantikan, again, this is subjektif, cantik kat mata ko, x semestinya cantik kat mata aku, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so ni mmg taste masing2. Just that ingatlah, jodoh kita insyaAllah akan kekal seumur hidup, so kalo muka cam pecah rumah, sudi ke nak mengadap hari2 sampai tua? hehehe...asal sedap mata ko memandang, ok la tu.. hensem2 sgt kang ko pulak rasa tergugat...takut ramai pompuan yang kejar dia because of his looks :P

4 Agama, last but not least...yang ni penting. I don't think I have to elaborate. Ko nak cari calon suami, yang bakal jadi imam ko, imam anak2 ko. Kalo dia sendiri tak betul, and tak nampak gaya nak betulkan hidup dia, then, its not worth your investment. Imam maksud aku kat sini is pemimpin, yang bukan takat tau cakap, tapi x pandai nak buat, yang bole lead solat jemaah ko satu family....Tgk solat, tu sgt penting, kalo solat pon hujung2 waktu, camna dia nak bimbing orang lain...

Logically speaking, hidup perlu duit, tapi duit bnyk mana pon x cukup. Memang susah nak cari lelaki zaman sekarang yang boleh compete ngan income kita. Ada, but almost all are taken. Tgk berapa jauh jarak pendapatan dia ngan ko, kalo RM2K vs 5K...macam agak jauh. Kalaula korang kahwin, can you maintain your current lifestyle? That is the compromise you have to make. And with his income, can he provide you a good life, if not comfortable?

One more thing, with lower income, what about the level of education, SPM? Diploma? Degree?  Ni pon penting jugak, just so you can see eye to eye with him. You are going to live forever for quite sometime, so I would imagine, at least kalo xde pelajaran tinggi pon, asalkan tak kolot dan mahu terima pendapat orang, insyaAllah ok.. Aku paling pantang orang yang rasa diri dia betul je, no matter what.

Well...panjang pulak aku bersyarah... ni semua pendapat aku je, yang mana ko boleh terima pakai, amikla, yang mana rasa x sesuai tu, anggaplah beza pendapat ye ;)

Yang penting ko kena nilai baik buruknya, pendapatan kurang bukan faktor besar, banyak lagi benda2 lain yang kita patut tgk. So aku sarankan, kenal dulu orangnya, unless kalo ko rasa gaji dia rendah sgt, and ko taknak bagi harapan palsu, then don't. Kalo agak2 ok, cuba kenal dulu...Allah Maha Mengetahui....    

I hope I said the right thing. At least that is how I see the issue, there is no clear right or wrong in scouting a potential husband with less income than what we currently make, but lets not be blinded, life is not always about money, but money is a big part of life. This is not just for her, for me as well. Though I may not be in her position yet, but its a reminder for me, my sort of check and balance.