Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Dah Terlanjur...

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh....

These past few days, I've been seeing desperate individuals reaching out to collect some cash. These are the people running few orphanage in KL area. I have no qualms in giving, but the questions is until when? We have a cyclic problem in our society. Come Ramadhan, people showered all these orphanage with all kinds of stuffs, and they are left forgotten for the rest of the year.

And the people in these orphanage, they meant well, but they don't have the survival sense sometimes. Many NGOs in Malaysia are banking on people's donation, which is definitely not sustainable by any means. And when it comes to times like this, they will be having overdue payments for many things, house rent, petrol, etc... One lady was on the verge of being evicted because of these over due.

I came from a poor family, but no matter how little money that we had, Mak made sure that we will have no overdue on rent, and other utilities. We would go on for some days without proper food. I still remember one day, I wandered around the back road towards Flat Sri Sabah, hoping to find any tapioca, or any plant that I can take home and cook. We were that poor, but I always remembered Mak paying the bills on time, no late payment whatsoever.

I've had this dream of building a self sustainable orphanage. And my ex-boss always say, if you want to do a charity, pick a high CEP charity. CEP stands for Current Estimated Potential, to cut the story short, get into a charity that is sustainable. As the saying goes, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.". Right now I have so many ideas for these houses. The kids are all physically well, surely there must be something that they can do.

How I wish I am in Malaysia right now. No doubt, here I earned big bucks, and I do give some to them, tapi sampai bila? I will not earn like this forever. Once I am no longer an expat, I will have limited resources to share with them. Therefore I am thinking of kicking off a self sustained project with these people. But the problem is, I need to be physically there to at least pull something together.

Sometimes, I just want to pack and leave, there is not much that I can do here, apart from transferring money, which to me is only temporary help. I am in too deep with my commitments to just walk away now, from my work. Countless times that I have thought of leaving and set up my own business, be independent, countless times!. I love my job, don't get me wrong, it pays good money, I have no complaint. But in the end, is it all money that I want? Surely there is more to that.

I am now slowly settling my debt. By the time I am done with my 4 years assignment here, hopefully all the home loans are settled, and maybe if I am careful enough, I might save some capital to start my own business. I hope I have the strength to venture into the independent world outside. InsyaAllah.

Till next time, wassalam...

Thursday, April 9, 2015

I am tired...

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh...

At the point I am writing this, I just got back from a quick trip back home again. When I was in PD, I used to go back once a month, and yes, it was tiring. Last year, I only went back once, and somehow I felt guilty. So this year, I made a commitment to travel back more often. This long distance relationship with my family is not well managed yet.

I don't know which one that is more tiring, physically or emotionally. Have yet to find out.

That's it, nothing more to say. Sekadar nak luah perasaan. Tak leh nak luah kat mak, nanti mak risau, nak luah kat sini, takda sapa la pulak...nasib badan :)