Friday, December 23, 2016

How my wedding would be...

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh..

Shaz's wedding was a grand one. Despite her claim of not enough budget and all, the celebration went on for 3 days 3 nights on her side (causing us to be mostly sleep deprived..hehe) and later continued for a reception in SG. I enjoyed most part of KL side, and had I had the chance to attend the SG side, I think I would enjoy it as well. 

However..... that's not how I want my wedding would be. We girls have our dream wedding even though we do not have the other party to play the groom part yet :P. My idea of my wedding has evolved along the years, along with my perception of what's good for me, and I guess pretty much influenced by what Islam wants a wedding to be. So here goes:

My wedding would be in a masjid, it can be either Masjid Wilayah or Masjid Besi Putrajaya. Both Muslim and non-Muslim guests will be invited to the masjid. The guests will have to reach the masjid before maghrib. We (pengantin included ok) would join the congregation for Maghrib prayers, after that, we will have the akad nikah ceremony. That ~1 hour window between Maghrib and Isyak should be ample enough for the event. The non muslim guests would be seated outside with a video live feed of the nikah (if there is any opposition to non Muslim entering the prayer hall). If they are no protest, all guests are welcomed to witness the nikah in the prayer hall. After the nikah, by that time it would be Isyak, all guests, my future husband and myself will also be in the congregation. After solat baru la upacara batal air sembahyang, sarung cincin bagai. That should not take more than 15 minutes. 

I would be ready with wudhuk and had make up done before maghrib. No need for elaborate make up, I just need to be in purity state until we finish Isyak. Should not be that hard insyaAllah. And oh.. I would like to hold 3 stalks of gerber daisy (pink or red colour preffered) as my bouquet. Simple, light but makes a bold statement. Wedding gown..hhmmm...a white abaya, detailing not sure yet, will probably let the expert designer decide. The groom will be fully clad in white satin baju melayu, even if he is not melayu, he's marrying one, so he has to wear it :) hehe.. Sampin songket warna-warni like sampin Sarawak or sampin Indonesia, I can't remember which part, but I love that sampin.  

After which, then we will all adjourn to small reception at the masjid. Masjid Besi Putrajaya is perfect for this setting! During the reception, both my husband and I will then mingle around and say hi to the guests. And that's it. Potentially, I don't expect to get more than 100-150 guests. If more people are willing to attend the masjid wedding, then alhamdulillah, all the better.  

This is not my original idea. This comes from Baba Ali, one of the founder for the muslim marriage site, Half Our Deen. 

Now if we expect to entertain more guests, then maybe we can consider a reception on the following day, noontime. No bersanding whatsoever. Just a small reception, takde berarak bagai. Hantaran will be exchanged during the nikah. Pelamin pun tak payah, but if anybody (makcik2 la normally) insist, then maybe we can have that for photography session, definitely no bersanding. The thing with reception nowadays is, there are so many 'other' elements that comes with it, there's photobooth, music playing, speeches, etc. And its quite hard to control the flow, but we will see how. 

So, that's it for now on how I dream my wedding would be. Am pretty sure if the thoughts keeps coming, more details will be added in..haha. 

Till next time, wassalam. :)

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Pergi Tak Kembali

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh..

My last post talks about my then emotional state of being. I did went for my Nordic adventure. Had loads of fun, but before that had some series of unfortunate events or bad luck (as KBB put it). First it was my worry that something were to happened at home while I'm on holiday, and then there was this incident in the work place that caused me to be hospitalized for 4 days!

I fall on my back on the last day of a site visit to a terminal. Quite fair bit of fiasco, to the point that MEDEVAC were to be activated. I told my travel mates, they assured me that they will help me with my luggage, and it's not like we were in Amazing Race or something :). I was working from home until the day I traveled.

And my series of unfortunate event did not stops there, the day I was supposed to travel, Nov 23rd, Lufthansa's pilot decided to launch a strike. So I had a choice of waiting for a later flight, or change to another flight. Without much thought I booked Turkish Airline ticket direct to Copenhagen to meet up with the rest. The original plan to transit in London went bust because of it. There goes my another pair of cheap Clarks! hehe..If I were to wait for the later Luthansa flight, the whole itinerary will have to be changed as well, so no can do.

So there I go happy-happy joy-joy in Scandi. I will save the travelog later. Our last destination was Stockholm. I have to leave early to make it to Shaz's wedding. I was supposed to meet with my parents at the wedding and head home direct to NG after that wedding. Before I touched down KL, mak informed me ayah is already on wheelchair, definitely could not make it to the wedding. Without further ado, I've tried to delay my return flight back to Nigeria, but all Emirates flights seems to be fully booked on the tentative fly back dates. I've tried both ticketing offices, Stockholm, and Dubai and by the time I touched down KL, I knew for sure that I will not be able to change my flight ticket back to Nigeria.

That very day I touched down, I bought a one way Air France ticket, end destination Port Harcourt. No point for me to return to Lagos and waste another day there. Booked MAS return ticket to AOR and I attended Shaz's wedding with the peace of mind that I am travelling back to SP on Monday, the day after the reception.

I flew back with 1.30 PM flight to AOR, adik fetch me and rather than heading straight to the hospital (ayah was admitted on Friday night, mak spare me the news, as I was busy with Shaz's wedding), I went back to take a bath and quick nap as I was having massive headache from few days lack of sleep. The plan is to go to the hospital at 6PM.

Around 5.50 PM, another sister texted the news, ayah no longer there. He has peacefully passed away. Innalillahi wa inna ilahi rojiun.. This was on the 12th Dec 2016, Monday. We head straight to the hospital, and when we got there, ayah's remains was still in the ward, yet to be transferred to the mortuary. I stayed with mak, clearing all the hospital documentations etc and was with mak in van jenazah heading back home. Some people may beat themselves up for not being able to see their parents before they finally departed, but for me, I will not do that. Terkilan maybe, but I am even more thankful that I was there back in SP when all these happened. Imagine if I were in Nigeria, or on a cruise somewhere, how much help can I render to the family. I am really thankful of Allah's planning, the timing especially. Syukur sangat-sangat, dah besar rahmat I was there to help mak uruskan mana yang patut, and not be scrambling for flight tickets and what not.

Meanwhile my neighbours quickly helped to set the house ready for us. By the time we got back, all has been prepared for us. Jenazah was laid to rest the following day around 12 PM. The whole process were smooth alhamdulillah. My sister witnessed the ghusl at the masjid, and she mentioned that the kariah took time to properly complete it, they were not rushing, which is good for the jenazah I guess. Should be handled with care. So there it is, ayah has left us, went to see his Creator. Until a few days after his demise, there a few people came over to the house to look for Pak Long Usop, as he was fondly known off by the kampung folks. Some of them did not get the news, and ayah is the kind of person that can talk to anybody he met at coffee shop. Ayah's phone was not working and even if it was, these people are the random people that he met all around. You know how kampung folks are, some has mobile, some doesn't. But I guess by now, most of ayah's acquaintances already knew about his passing.

Till next time, wassalam...