Monday, October 23, 2017

Tazabar- 45 more sleeps to go!

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

So here's the thing. My transfer progress has been slow, but its moving. This week I'll be talking to both the transfer advisor and relocation advisor, and hopefully everything will go smoothly. Regardless of how it will go, I already have a specific departure date in mind :) My leave is approved from 11th December onward. The policy says I will have disembarkation leave of 5 days that is to be taken here in host country, which means from 4th Dec onward I will be on disembarkation leave :) .

Let say that it will take 2 days for the packers to finish packing my stuffs, that is 4th and 5th Dec, so insyaAllah I will be able to leave on 6th December. Based on these estimation, I have decided to hold my farewell lunch on the 3rd December. The menu would be.... (Ya Allah..typical Malaysian, apa2 hal sikit makan aja mulu..huhuhu....)

1. Nasi lemak daun pisang - the plan is to balut with paper and daun pisang...can already smell it!
2. Ayam goreng berempah - sub to Vivi to fry
3. Bihun goreng - sub to Kak Nonie to fry
4. Roti Jala and Kari Ayam
5. Bubur Chacha - madam Raquel volunteer to make :)
6. Karipap - kak Nonie nak payung :)
7. Kuih sagu
8. Kuih koci
9. Popia sayur
10. Cekodok pisang
11. Popsicles - red bean and cendol flavour (may I have the strength to make this..hehehe)

I am thinking to have all the food for 50 pax. Nasi will be half portion size, macam nasi lemak singgit tu, because we still have other heavy food (bihun and roti jala). Banyak lagi nak buat tapi takut tak habih nanti. Depa ni bukan gheti makan banyak2.

I may make extra nasi lemak, in case some wants to take back. Maybe buat 70 small pax? Ok kot.

Now I am busy going through my things and sorting out which one to keep, throw, or sell. Quite a messy task actually because when I moved from PD to here, I did not really have the time to sort all these, so the packers actually packed all my sampah jugak..hahaha. I already went through the main bedroom, already one big bag of rubbish to throw. I foresee more when I go through the buckloads of papers and electronics garbage that I have collected. We'll see. Until next time, wassalam..

p/s: Bapak bosan weh.. works has wind down, at least for me. My teammates is very poor at delegating, I've asked them to pass whatever load they have to me, now that I am readily available, tapi tak... semua buat bodo. One meeting, three of them is attending, and I was not kept in the loop. Lantak hangpa la.

The more I voiced out, the more rude I am seen as, so why bother? For now, settle bab transfer ni lagi best..hehehehehe. 

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Next: MYY

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

Last entry was in July..huhuhu... I was on roller coaster emotional ride of hope and disappointment these past few months. From May to be exact. That was when I started looking around for my next job. My expiry date here is 1st Jan 2018, after that I am no longer valid here (figuratively speaking). From May I have been keeping my eyes open on the next job, however, Shell Malaysia has one restriction. No back to back overseas posting. Dang! There were lots of jobs floating around in Iraq, Netherlands, US and even Brunei, and I was not allowed to apply to any of them.

So there I was at the mercy of Shell Malaysia to create that opportunity to me. I've mentioned my options before should I fail to get a position within Shell Malaysia and alhamdulillah, none of the options will take effect. I have just received a good news, not official but almost certain now. I will be placed in Miri for the next job.

When I started looking for jobs, I talked to many people and the message is clear. My only option was either in KL or just KL. Miri has no opening, neither is Sabah. Even after HSE team in EP Malaysia had their succession planning meeting in August, still no job in Miri. There is one job available in in KL and I've applied with very high hopes, only to be turned down. I came back from raya haji almost heartbroken (despite knowing that things can potentially goes that way, and having 5 options laid out by myself).

Somehow Allah SWT works his miracles. A person in Miri resigned, and a position was opened up. To cut the story short, they are not advertising the position and decided to place me there. I basically has no competition at all. Just had a chat with the team lead and she verbally confirms it. It has always been this way with me. Allah blocks all the possible way for me even before I get to the doorstep, just so I will continue on the road that He has chosen for me. I am not like most person, who gets 2-3 offers at a time, and dumbfounded as to which one to choose. That has not been my case.

So, Miri is next. Port Dickson>> Port Harcourt >> Miri. Praying for a smooth transfer process. :) InsyaAllah...

Pic from Google - Tusan Beach, Miri. Looking forward to go back to beach life :)

Thursday, July 20, 2017


That moment when you both look up from afar just to smile and wave goodbye.

I keep on saying this, I hope I can have this exact feeling again...

Tuesday, July 18, 2017


Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh....

If yesterday I wrote about my dreams should I be able to land a job in KL, today I will share what my plan is, if that did not happen.

This is my final year here, and although I have not spoken to the GM yet, I have a feeling that my service here is not going to be extended. Reason is, my boss gave me a non-hesitant approval to start looking for jobs, now that I am reaching the end of assignment. That is indirectly saying, we no longer need you, please go ahead and make the necessary plan towards the end of your time here.

For the past 2-3 years, Shell has been cutting jobs all around the world, Malaysia is not excluded. Been looking for job since May and I have yet to find anything. I don't even see many job in my field that are being advertised, at least not within Shell.

So, if I fail to get a job in Malaysia, by end of this year, what will happen? Big question....and indeed I have been thinking a lot about this as well. For the first time in my life, I am worried that I will not be able to provide for my family. Back in 2006, when I resigned from MP without having even 1 offer in my hand, it was less terrifying. Maybe because I don't have much commitment back then. Now all are on me.

Having that in mind, I came up with back up plans.

Plan A:
Take a break from working, and maybe pursue full time Masters Degree course. I've been wanting to do this for quite sometime. I have no discipline to commit to part time study. So a full year course should be fine and I have confidence that I can complete it. The only problem is $$ or should I say £££? Hehehe. Well, I did my diploma and bach degree in UiTM, so rasanya tak salah kalau nak berangan buat Masters kat oversea kan..

For this plan to work, I need to save up ~ RM 240K, that will roughly cover my tuition fee, cost of living in UK, cost of living mak in SP and some basic overheads for SJ apartment.

The semester in UK starts in September, but I will be free January onwards (depending on employment T&C with Shell is, so during the gap time, I have to think of something, my sister actually suggested doing Uber..hahaha. not bad, boleh la kot dipertimbangkan.

Plan B:
Venture into business, cake business maybe but I have to save some start up cost. So anyhow I still need to save money. For this one, I need to attend classes, take proper training and have some target customer. Maybe balik dok Kedah pun ok. Spoken to a friend that works with Mardi, she suggested bisnes cendawan tiram, menarik jugakla kalau pikiaq balik. So yes, this one definitely an option.

Plan C:
Find job with other O&G company. To be honest, I am kind of tired of working in the corporate world. Selagi ada rezeki with Shell, OK, but to apply to another company....boleh, tapi... banyakla tapi..hehehe. We'll see how. Rezeki ada kat mana-mana kan..?

So anyhow, life has to go on, and rezeki Allah ada di mana-mana. We will see how this will turns out.

Till next time, wassalam.

Monday, July 17, 2017


Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh... post at all in June. Sibuk nau puasa dan beraya kot..hehehe. Maybe. Its been a week since I came back to work. Puasa ganti baru sehari and doesn't look like I can finish all the puasa ganti, let alone puasa 6 this Syawal. Dua minggu beraya di tanah Malaya, enjoy sakan, mana nak posa. Konon nak posa bila balik sini, less distraction kononnya...

The first few days, layan jetlag, posa? gone..After that I was down with flu, sampaikan kena work from home as I could not stand the office aircond, its a centralized system, therefore we could not manipulate it. Now I am still recovering. Syawal tinggal lagi kurang lebih seminggu, and my cough is still lingering, so not likely I will clock any puasa days anytime soon. Tu la..waktu sihat kat Malaya tak nak buat, bertangguh... padan muka. Try better next year OK?

Speaking of raya, the normal topics that comes with it is open house. I've been holding mini makan-makan session here for the past three years and this year the tradition will continue insyaAllah, and this time around I have the extra help from my new neighbour. Hari ni nak plan detail on who does what. But based on our earlier discussion, most likely the menu would be:
  1. Nasi impit
  2. Kuah lodeh
  3. Sambal kacang
  4. Sambal ikan bilis
  5. Rendang ayam
  6. Lemang instant? - am not keen, but she insisted it
  7. Biskut raya - specially imported from Malaya. Nak buat kat sini memang tak la..dengan butter mahai nak mampss
  8. Kerepek - also specially imported from Malaya. Penuh my hand carry ngan biskut raya and kerepek..hahaha. 
  9. Special appearance of kek lapis - this is a surprise for my neighbour. Dia tak berkesempatan balik raya lagi, raya haji baru balik to Miri, so I took the liberty of belikan kek lapis and bawak balik sini :) would love to see her face when she gets it!
  10. Toffee date pudding - ni sebab nak pakai stok kurma yang bertahun-tahun dah kejung dalam my pantry. Hopefully it will turn out fine. 
I think by normal open house standard, we still lack of one main dish...but I maybe wrong. The mat saleh doesn't eat much. So we'll see how the discussion today turns out. 

On the same note but different token, I've been thinking a lot of getting another house in BJ. The apartment that I bought in 2013 was completed in 2015, and I've been furnishing it bit by bit. Its a small 2 bedroom apartment, so there is not a lot to be done. Lagipun most of my stuffs are either in SP or here with me.

It is a small apartment and last year I hosted the DIC girls and their family for buka puasa and it was crammed.. So imagine if I want to have open house, confirm la sempit kan. Besides, it is quite small to fit my family when they came for a visit. So that is why I am heavily considering buying a landed home. Now that I have the luxury to live here, I suddenly becomes pampered...huhuhuhu...

Now I am in the midst of applying for a new job. Shell Malaysia does not allow back-to-back overseas posting (even though ramai je trotting the globe one expat job after another :P) and I have to find a job in Malaysia. The job market is really tough for the past 2 years and not many jobs are available. Spotted one potential job, but still things are a little bit shady. So if ada rezeki dapat kerja in KL, my plan is to save up deposit money for a landed property in BJ. I love the area, so its a no brainer. I am not looking for a new development, a second hand house would do. A link house is fine as long as landed, nak banglo besaq2 sapa nak duduk? nak maintain lagi..banyak la pulak kerja. So based on what I want, the asking price right now is between RM 800-900k. Freaking expensive! Ko tengok la area mana..haha. So easily 30% deposit will come to RM 240k. Why 30%? Sebab that would be the 3rd house under my name..hehehe. Bunyi macam kaya sangat la kan.. but actually not. 1st house in SP is for the family, am not making any profit of that property. Kalau takdak rumah tu memang kami masih menyewa kat Flat DBKL.

Second house is this one in BJ. So if the link house plan comes through, I will most probably rent out the apartment. Nak kata buat duit sangat pun, maybe tak kot.. takat rent out satu pintu, barely cover the maintenance and monthly commitment to the bank.

So insyaAllah, kalau ada rezeki, here is my plan:

2018: stay in the apartment - save up deposits
2019: purchase the landed house in BJ. Hopefully the market is still slow. Been monitoring the price since last year, not much movement, economy kan still slow.. korek la duit mana-mana to make up to the deposits. InsyaAllah hopefully can move in the same year and start furnish sikit2..
2020: have my first open house kat rumah baru! yeay! InsyaAllah, semoga dipermudahkan. That now has become my very own 'Wawasan 2020' hehehe..

Why do I share all the details here? I noticed that many things that I have today, are a result of once a dream. When I dream of things, I visualize it and somehow Allah make it easy for me to work towards it. Talk about power of visualization! Betul ni, tak tipu...

First example that I can relate to is back in 2005, I was job hunting, fresh after graduation. Masa kat career fair, I passed my resume to Sony Malaysia, waktu tu dah berangan nanti email aku ada nama ...gituuu.... hahaha.. Walaupun tak dapat Sony, look where I ends up now. Alhamdulillah!

And this expat posting, was something I visualized as well, years before I get the chance to actually apply for it. So tak ke pemurah Allah SWT tu?

Satu lagi ja visualization that has yet to come true.. that is to get married..hahaha. Well, rezeki yang ada ni pun dah syukur sangat dah. If I can find someone to be married to in this lifetime, its going to be a big bonanza bonus :D.

Panjang sangat la pulak kali ni despite not having any readers around..hahaha. Takpa. Bukan selalu pun update. Till next time, wassalam.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017


We've not been talking much for the past few months. Our relationship has been off and on. I can't even remember when was the last time I sent anything to him.

Somehow today, he just out of the blue shared the podcast that he was listening to, just to create a conversation. Me, being the kayu as I always am, didn't really handle it well. Basically it was not a smooth flowing conversation, like always.

But regardless how it went, this feelings that I feel when he made the move (I can only guess his intention..) is indescribable. This feelings is nice, and if I'm not careful I can easily get carried away. It was nothing to him but I always tend to read into things.

This feeling is beautiful, that moment is beautiful. Maybe I am exaggerating things....but I don't get to feel this feelings every day. I just hope that I will be able to feel this again with someone that is halal for me. I really do.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017


Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh...

I am so sorry that this blog has become an outlet for me to express all the negatives feeling that I have been having. Here's another one today. I found no other positive way to channel my frustration, so tinggal blog ni ja.

A friend has just broke the news that she is no longer living with her husband, they have separated for 3 months now. She apparently fall in love with another guy. (worst thing that could happened in a marriage..!) I noticed her FB feed full of pictures of her going out with another man, but her kid is with her, at that time I felt uneasy and suspected something but didn't have the nerve to ask for details. She once made a remark that I was too outspoken and maybe some of the things I said to her has hurt her, which I totally have no intention to. So when I see these kind of things happening, I hold back my opinion, for I know she will not be able to accept what I would say.

We are in a whatsapp group (who isn't nowadays?) and since she has been keeping mum about the whole thing, I tried asking in the group how is she doing? Then the news come. She is going to file her divorce in court. She said she no longer can live with her husband, she still did not give much details but the part where she has somebody else is clear. She admitted it. She even said that she don't think she can live without this new guy. I am shocked. I didn't expect it to go that far.

How can you fall out of love with someone that you choose to be married with? Its sad.. I don't really know how it feels to fall head over heels on someone. I had feelings, I like Kim for example, but I know that I can live without him, I liked one guy in uni,deep in my heart I still like him, but I don't go chasing after him after we both graduated. But the thing is, I can never fall out of love with these guys, maybe I can if they treated me badly. I know the husband, not very well, but I think I know enough to make a judgement of his character. He loves her, and he is not capable of finding someone else. He has not been hostile to her (not that I can see). She is the dominant one in the relationship. Apparently they (both husband and wife) have been talking to another good friend, and they have seek for advises, but my friend, she just don't want to be married to her husband anymore.

I guess every couple are being tested like this at some point. You will see someone else as being better than your spouse, but the key is I guess to remind yourself back why you love that person in the first place, why did you choose to get married, it is for better and for worse. If things goes sour, shouldn't you work on resolving it? I don't know how much they have worked to save their marriage, maybe there are some internal issues that she is not willing to discuss and being keeping it to herself all the while and now its too much to bear already, maybe. Allah knows best.

I just hope that this somebody new can give her the happiness that she is looking for. I hope this new guy is not just taking advantage of her. I really hope so. May Allah guide her to do whats best for her and her kid. May Allah protect us all....