Love - What, How?

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh...

This is just too good that I could not wait to go back and do the translation myself, I will, but in case I forget, let me just post it here first.

An email a friend sent in 2009. She joined multiple muslim matrimony sites and stumbled upon a profile and this is what the guy said.

"Say it. When you say the words "I Love You", they should carry with them the desire to show someone that you love them, not what you simply want to feel. 

When you say it make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person. Empathize. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, try to understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are. 

Realize how they could also love you back just as well. Love unconditionally. If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). 

If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not unconditional. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally. 

Expect nothing in return. That doesn't mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for the sake of love. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you, do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way. 

Realize it can be lost. If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love. Don't make an idol of the person you love. This will place them under undue pressure and will likely result in you losing."

At that time, I doubted my ability to love somebody else, and I think its still the same case now... gosh... I still haven't changed, have I?

Breaking Out

I did not have a good working year last year, few things happened and am not dwelling on the tiny little details here. Bottom line, I promised to myself to slowly work on it this year ;). I was never a talker at work, anything that I do, I normally did not really tell other people (progress update etc...), and most communication is being done once I completed the work. So from 3rd party point of view, I did not really look as if I am doing my work. I was being invisible (I think...)  most of the time. I pretty much hang out with the same crowd over the years, in that sense did not really expanded my social network. Being an introvert, these are the few challenges that I need to work on.

Today I had a meeting with a few engineers (me the only lady, as usual), we need to work on an item that is for the umpteenth times none has been able to complete and get it running. We stick to the agenda and the meeting finished with some 20 mins to spare. One of the engineer started talking about him finally buying the i-Phone. He is a tech freak, you name all the latest gadget, he must have discovered it 1-2 years ago. So am a bit surprised that he is converting to i-Phone only now, after they have released the version 4. It turns out that there is this apps that allows him to navigate a remote helicopter (toys of course) and he intend to use that during his paintball games. And then the whole meeting start talking about the paintball fantasy and a bunch of guys stuffs, i mean missiles on heli...pastu ntah hape-hape lagi which I only understand the gist of it. 

Suddenly one guy asked another guy for his BBM, and the meeting organiser took note as well. I was about to leave when I said, "I only use phone for message and call, and that's about it", the reply that I get is "Blackberry is now becoming the engineering standard..hahaha..."

So I guess am not up to standard yet ;p

Anyhow, that is not the point, the whole less than 20 minutes thing made me realise how much comfortable I feel outside my comfort zone. I don't hang out with these guys (yela..sume suami orang ma...) but then I still have the ability to adapt to their conversation. So why am I alienating myself for the past one year? The question that I still have no answer, but I intend not to cause myself to ask again come end of this year, ;)

So Cute!! ;)

I just could not resist watching these and posting it ;)




with Puyol half dressed, and Sergio Ramos kicked the bottled to sort of 'clear' the line...just so cute ;)

Lunch Talk : of Labour and all....

Still owe 2 tags, both from Dieya & Aida, but I have to get this one out first. Your tag on the weekend la ek? ;)

For the past two days, I have been attending First Aid course. Today, during lunch I sat with some of the participants, all of them are males. Somehow one first aid story leads to another. The next thing I know they were exchanging war stories of how they witnessed their wives giving birth. Only one guys has no experienced yet. The wife is going for delivery, in end June. So the other 8 gents were discussing quite in detail, how they saw the wife 'suffered' through child labour. The kind of strength a woman has to endure such pain, post natal stuffs and all.

They were even comparing natural birth, epidural induced and the C-section method. This father to be is nervous. He mentioned that he and his wife went for pre-natal classes and they were shown a video of natural birth, of course it was terrifying, and the wife quickly made up her mind to opt for C-Section. The gents all around the table give a practical advise, since they have seen almost all of it. I refrain from giving any comment since I am a single lady, and by right have no clue what/how a childbirth is all about.

But to the best of my judgement, these guys were right and came up with to me was a practical advise. I am amazed... Another part that amazed me was how they decribe the feeling of holding their child for the first time and also how seeing their wife in labour pain does add to the depth of respect to women, especially their wife and mother. To me, as a woman, hearing them saying all that is enough appreciation a woman could ask for.

It dawn on me, to find these kind of men, to earn their kind of respect is hard actually. Particularly when I have seen many bad examples especially in my own family, this group of gents is really a steal, and I was glad to be among their presence. I wish all men have their same attitude and appreciation. I really do, and maybe someday I'll find one, insyaAllah...

Once in the blue moon

I watched this VCD last night, With Love ( a Japanese Drama series) and continued this morning. I have watched it more than 10 times I think ;) Nostalgia gila tengok cerita ni...what are the memories?

This is the first VCD Series that I bought after I had my first PC in 2002. I fell in love with the actor immediately Yutaka Takenouchi. This is the story about relationship in cyberspace, background Tokyo, 1998. The guy (pencipta lagu) accidentally sent a piece of his song to this girl. The girl loves that song and later they keep on communicating via mail. Both uses nickname and unknowingly they were quite close to each other in real life. Along the line, both seems to be having the same dilemma, be it about money, being victimised or many other daily challenges and both exchange words of wisdoms via mail.

From this series I also learnt the cute icons such as p(^o^)q this is to express 'gambaro'..which means 'berusahalah'... I have it written on all my textbook (*o*) V

I know its cliche and those type of story only happened in movies but I loike the series so much. The funny part is I bought the series in Kota Raya KL. The basement used to have this one shop that sold Japanese and Korean drama series at good bargain. Went back to Shah Alam, watched the whole series overnight only to realise that the store packed me short of ONE VCD, the last one...how can!!! In order to get my ending, after class that day I took bus to Kota Raya (2hrs ++ ride) and claimed the VCD from the store. They acknowledge it was their mistake. I quickly rushed back to Shah Alam and finally finished watching the series, close 24 hrs after I bought it. One of the things that I do back then.

After that I was head over heels with Yutaka that I keep on buying his drama series, although I don't have all but I have the one movie he did with Kelly Chen, Calmi Couri Appasionati - background in Italy. See, I was that much in love with him....

So just to reminisce the old fling, here are some of his pics (not latest though..)

(this one actually looks like Farid Kamil....but naaahhh...he can never top Yutaka-san ;p)

I like him in all the looks, totally went crazy over this guy (I think I still am..hehehe...) I mean who wouldn't fall for that sometimes badboy, sometimes very deep thinker and sometimes just plain sweet and cute look, am sure I did ;)

btw: once in the blue moon is the song that HAsegawa TAkashi accidentally sent to Teru Teru Bozu.

World of Men

There has been occasions in my life where I was involved with so many men at one time (nothing personal). I was in ROTU back in UiTM and 70% of the population is guys. Now I am working in this industry where latest statistic shows in this company only 10% of the population is women.

So what's the perk of being in this male dominated industry? A lot..(none of it again...personal). After 2 years in SRC, I've met more guys that I have ever met my entire life. They comes in all form, best buddies, saviour,confidante,father figure or just gossip partner. Right now we have not yet wrapped up from our Turn Around..still there will be some task to settle before the actual schedule start up mid this month.

I am blessed to be given the chance to work with the team. They trully defines what teamwork is all about. There was one particular job that I was suppose to lead, and because it was not scoped earlier, it became emergent work, hence there are no proper team set up for the task and I have to lead the whole thing. Come in the midst of execution, problem..I shouted for help and boy am I relieved that I AM working with these people. Everybody is willing to chip in ideas to get things moving, extreme support and companionship showed and I could not have asked for more.

The only reason I am so thankful is that I've been in worse position. Working in company where people only care of only what tasked to them, apart from that, I don't care...Here, it is totally the opposite. there has been one too many occasion that I was saved by my saviour in my line of work here.

This is by far the best team I ever had and for that I am grateful.



I like the guy that is on the my farthest left, I think he's cute ;)