Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Is that all?

I went to a classmate's wedding last Friday, it was a beautiful one. I don't know her husband but their first date was our high school prom nite, sweet rite? And her sister's speech brought tears to many eyes that night. After that, the three of us went out for a cup (ye ke a cup...) of coffee. Just doing some catch up and turns out that I was being 'tarbiah' by Cik Kiah.
Its the most hottest, if not dreadest (is there such words?) topic ever, marriage!!! She is apparently now on an active manhunt mission. How do I put this...she is actually persuading me to enter all possible channel to find a man, for the intention of getting married. I have friends asking me to join all this matrimonial sites, just so that I can find a man to get married to.

But the thing is, I don't really feel the need to go that way, not just yet. I am yes. single, available and not seeing anyone right now. Of course I intend to get married, I mean which girls doesn't. She kept questioning till when? Honestly, even I don't have the answer. All I want is a man that is put first and foremost Islam as his way of life. I mean not just some Muslim guy who is printed on their IC the word Islam. I mean those who really walk the walk and talk the talk.

Then comes the taboo subject (taboo to me, but not in Islam), polygamy. What if there is no more good single guy in this world, and the good ones are married, will I be willing to take any of those guys, just so that I can get married? Quickest response, no.

Am not against polygamy, by all means if a guy can demonstrate that he is able to provide for more than 1 wife, then go ahead. But for me to share a husband with another woman, I'm sorry, thanks but no thanks. I am greedy when it comes to having my life. If that happens, I don't mean to brag here, I would rather stay single. (at least that is what I feel for now)

To me, life as a person, specifically as a woman, not just about getting married. Of course, its fitrah, wanting to get married, have kids, grow old with your spouse and the whole enchalada, but I know there is more to life than getting married. I know for a Malay, going 29, I am labeled as spinster. You know what? I don't care for even a bit. The thing that I care the most now is taking care of my parents and myself. The rest, if its fated, then so be it.

This friend said, tawakkal tu boleh, tapi kau dah usaha ke? Seriously I have never really work on to marriage direction, not really, as long as I remember....maybe I'm supposed to do something, but my heart is still not up for it.

  • Am I giving up on falling in love and getting married? Not really.
  • How much longer will I wait, till I make the first move, knowingly aware that my biological clock is ticking? Honestly, I don't know.
I know one thing for sure, I have lots of other things to achieve, and getting married is maybe towards the bottom of the list. (at least for now). The rest, like I said, let fate decide.

And one more thing, I want a guy that can go on living without me, but choose to be with me. I don't want those you die I die kinda thing, not for me, not for him.

There it is...phew... this IS a long post. ;)


  1. Salam,

    Yup, definately feeling you in this topic.

    I had friends membebel pasal tuh gak, and dulu saya slalu jawab, "Orait.. tengari nih saya kawin". Ada frends siap kasik my number to some guys la. Isk2. Huhu!

    I think dalam hal nih, it depends on that person. I have a friend who's using all possible channels to find her Mr Right but sampai skang, tak de rezeki.

    I have a friend that tak penah tingin nak berkawan dengan guys pon tapi tetiba jumpa this one guy and within 3 months, derang kawin.

    For me.. there's no age limit to get married or having that other half. Saya suka love to come naturally. It feels stronger and more real like that. :D

    Jangan gundah gulana dalam hal nih. Macam dalam citer Hindustan Dil Tu Pagal Hai tuh.. "there's somebody for you outside there". Cewah!

  2. thanks, tak gundah gulana nye.. but the thing is, people underestimated the purpose of our existence, for some is just about getting married, seriously is that really so?
    so sementara masih single ..'kite enjoy!!'
    -bak kate nora danish dlm cite puteri ;)

  3. Ha ah betul tuh. Life is so much more than just getting married. Ada kes sampai pakai rembat jek.. asalkan ada. Personally I think that's sad.

    Our life is how we want it.. and what we make it to be. :)


“Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you." ~ William Arthur Ward...

So what say you? ;)