I was on MC yesterday. What for? period pain of course. And each time I had it, I'm reminded of each eggs that I am wasting every month. I like kids, especially my nieces and nephew. Certainly would like to have my own someday. But how can I? Am still single, no prospect of marriage in the near future, well at least not for the next 2-3 years. My biological clock is ticking.

I want to get married, have kids and do what other people do. Have a family, but how to do that if I couldn't even get myself a boyfriend? Have I tried to get myself a boyfriend for that matter? After 27 years, I realized that I have never really, really,really in pursuit of a man, or a boy or a life partner. No serious effort was made, probably some goofing around but that was nothing major.

I have serious delayed response in my own feelings, even if I liked somebody, I would only acknowledge my own feelings after like what, 2 years? Yup, seriously, I have trust issue. So tell me now, how am I going to get married before I become 30? BIG challenge, but lets not go there.

But first things first, I need to get myself a boyfriend. If I can choose, my criteria would be:

1. Muslim convert (or revert), - those who are born Muslim can be considered, as long as he is willing to REALLY practise Muslim way of life. (I know its hard to find one these days)
2. Architect
3. Orphan

My list is kinda weird, but I have my own reasons. Its clear that physical appearance is nowhere in my list, hence it is less important to me. Well, let see whether am I in line with Islam's best practise. Many hadith quoted these as guide to finding a mate (not in particular order) :

• Beragama - Have strong faith in his religion
• Keturunan - Comes from decent family background
• Kecantikan - Beauty
• Kekayaan - Rich

Well, sure I have the first one in my list, just that I tailored to meet my need ;). Second one, I am not really that particular. Yes, it is true that people will shape its personality from his/her background. Being raised in good family background, can or cannot guarantee what type of person you are going to be, so its subjective.

Third one, to me beauty is skin deep and again subjective, its how you view beauty that leaves a mark and physical beauty alone is not enough, but it is indeed a bonus so am not really counting on that. Last but not least, money, yup that is important. But how high you want to set the limit, what do you intend to do with all the money? How do you get it in the first place? Halal-haram? Open for debate. To me as long as he can provide a sound living for me and willing to work hard and not let fate decide, its good enough.

The big question remains. What is my next move? For now pray hard because Allah knows what best for me. As far as my own effort, it will remain effortless ;p . When the time comes, it comes,but if its not meant to be, nothing much I can do about it.