Wednesday, January 30, 2013

What do I feel?

Assalamualaikum w.b.t,

Warning: this post may sound like a broken record, with no particular purpose :P

Today is the second time in two weeks I had lunch with the girls at work, and the topic does not differ much. Last week was to celebrate one girl's last day working as bachelorette, and of course the topic was about the wedding preparation. Among the girls, another 2 will be walking down the aisle and of course the are busy changing notes on all the prep work.

Mind you, all of them are much younger than I am. So tell me how am I supposed to feel? Right there and then I feel like registering myself to many online matrimonial sites and go all out to find my other half. But apart from that particular moment, I don't really feel the same drive.

So should I start to keep a distance with these girls so that I do not have to feel that way again? Trust me, it felt so bad to be in the middle of the discussion.

Another girl has just broken up from a long term relationship (6 years!!) and the rest of the girls did make jokes on fixing her up with somebody, but nobody, I am stressing this again, nobody wants to say anything about me. How does that make me feel? Well, I don't really want to be fixed up with anybody, but that has made me realize that I am in a stage where people don't really bother anymore, I don't know what's the cut off point, is it age? is it looks? is it status? I honestly don't know.

Tell me how am I supposed to feel? because I am really confused, should I be sad, or should I be relieved, or should I even be devastated, what is it should I be feeling now? For sure I don't feel good. Only for this particular topic and on this particular occasion, apart from that, I feel fine.

10 comments:

  1. ala dear.. bucuk adik akak ni... rasa sedih tu normal. Ingat, Tuhan turunkan ujian bersebab dan pada yang kuat menghadapinya. InsyaAllah dunia ni balasan dan ganjaran.. sabar yea...
    meh mai texas... kicap kaktek nak abeh.

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    1. thanks kak tek..tu la.. kena keep reminding myself bnyk2 ni..

      kak tek pos tiket kapeiterebang, saya hangkut kicap 2-3 karton, x bawak baju pon xpe..hehehe..

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  2. Jeet
    Yalah, rasa sedih dan 'terasa' tu normal tapi kalau I jadi kawan2 you tu, biarlah bercakap tu seperihal/ala kadar aje supaya takde yg terasa hati.

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    1. Salam CS, bila Cs ckp macam tu..jadi muhasabah utk diri sendiri pulak..kadang2 kita pon terexcited & tak sensitif dengan keadaan keliling kita..thanks sebab ingatkan :)

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  3. babe, breaks my heart to read this...

    being pestered to get married is hurtful. not being pestered at all even more hurtful. rasa macam.. nobody bothers if the girl is married or not.. thus they don't think of her as eligible to introduce to somebody.. which is really sad..

    i have so much to say, i think i'll do a blog post on this, maybe. if i do, i'll quote your entry, if you don't mind.

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    1. dieya, hurtful as it is, i think we have to get used to it, sooner or later i think i'll be able to handle it, and yes, am very much waiting for your post, i don't mind you sharing mine ;)

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  4. Jeet,
    Macam kawan2 lain cakap.. normal rasa sedih tu.
    Hmm.. I feel what most important is, what is it that you want, right now at this moment. If it's like you said.. it was just in that heat of the moment thing, then don't feel sad or devastated. There's absolutely nothing wrong for being single at your age. Heck, look at me. Haha!
    Kita akan rasa sedih dan tertekan bila kita rasa obligated untuk fit into what the society thinks our lives should be. Certain age, kena kawin. Certain age, kena ada anak. Certain age, kena ada anak lagi. Kalo lari dari 'lumrah' ni, orang tengok senget la, bla bla bla.
    Cannot be like that lorr.

    Everybody has their own life to live, in their own order, to their own likings.
    Well.. anyway, at least that's how I see it.
    *hugs!*

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    1. aida, when all the dust has settled, i know what i really want, you are right, its the spur os the moment thing, i'll try not to get carried away, thanks!! :D

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  5. Hi Jeet, life will always have its hiccups. But when one door closes, another opens.....and we must not let the tears in our eyes fail to see it.
    To a broken heart....build a bridge and cross over, don't look back. But smile as it was once yours.
    Live your life with no excuses, love with no regrets.
    You have a nice day, keep a song in your heart.
    Lee.

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    1. thanks so much uncle, for the kinds words, i'll always remember to keep a song in my heart :)

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“Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you." ~ William Arthur Ward...

So what say you? ;)