Allergic

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Am on my bed now, nak tidoq dah. Dozed off in front of the TV just now. Must be the effect of medicine that I'm taking right now. 

Am on 2nd cycle of meds already. Few weeks ago I developed some allergic reaction. I don't know what it was. Entire face is itchy, and so are my hands, worst part is even my eyes are itchy. Up to the point I applied vicks vaporub to my eyelid. That's how bad it was. 

Went to clinic and Dr suggested to quit my skin care first as she sees the symptoms are mainly contact allergy, if it's something I ate, the rashes would come out everywhere. Taken her advise and I switch my facial was to Cetaphil instead.

It got better, but as soon as the medicine finishes, the itchiness comes back again. Went to the same Dr and I asked about getting allergic test done. She prescribed me another round of meds and 3 different creams for both hands and face. I've yet to decide on proceeding with the allergic test. As of today I quit all chemicals altogether. 

I even wore glove when I hanged my clothes and washed the dishes. I still get some itchy spots here and there despite no chemicals and on medication. My colleague said it will take 2 weeks to detox. I think I need to double up the time, 4 weeks after my medicine runs out. See if I can tolerate the itchiness. But I think I will proceed with the allergic test anyway. 

As we get older, the body started to weaken, and we are prone to all kinds of things that we were immune to before. I never had skin problem, I don't get rashes, and no zits despite not being discipline in skin care. Dah tua2 ni manja la pulak. Nasib badan.. 

Okla, nak tidoq. Till next time. Wassalam. 

Stockdale Paradox

 Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

First day back to work after 3 days of leave, sangap gilaaaa.... hahaha. This morning agenda was team meeting, good for me as I can excuse myself from work, at least in the morning. The boss shared a bit more detail on the new org chart and how it impacts us as a team. In our own small section, the headcount maintain status quo but we are all required to update our CV and re-apply to our current roles (and maybe if you are eyeing for another role, by all means go ahead I guess..)

The only uncertainty is that other people that are impacted may also be eyeing our current role. So the competition is on. I've yet to update my CV in the system. Everybody is nervous due to this Reshape matter. The company has been careful in all of its communication so far and  lot of emphasis that shows Care - issues such as mental health are being discussed openly. Some people may disagree with this as they've experienced first hand of boss being a mental health threat itself. For me, I've been lucky so far, I hope I will continue to get good bosses in the future. 

On that note, my colleague shared about Stockdale Paradox Mindset - about being resilient in adversity. Much needed especially in this time of crisis. I didn't really read the material but when she shared the salient points in today's meeting, I figured, I am doing most of it and I guess that is why I have a better tolerant to what's happening nowadays. So here's the main point, taking lesson from Stockdale Paradox Mindset. 

Stay grounded in reality - confront and make sense of your current situation AND at the same time Stay hopeful for the future - keep an unwavering faith that you will get through this, even if you don't know exactly how.     

So what can you do in order to live up to these mindset? 

1. Incorporate humor and laughter into your day. - whatever that makes you laugh, do it!
2. Reverse negative thinking - train the brain to think of positive thoughts, one way is to be grateful. Each day list down things that you are grateful for, that will slowly develop a positive mindset. 
3. Surround yourself with 'Hope Providers' - find people who we can trust and confide in - this I failed miserably, as I do have trust issue and I am quick to pull back. Being labeled as mulut laser at times, I've learnt to keep my piece, and I don't think people can help to overcome my problem, I always have the belief that I need to solve my problem myself. So yeah, I don't do this. 
4. Reflect on what you value and take action - reflect and make sure our actions are aligned with our value - this I do really well. :)
5. Choose you - this is somewhat similar to the point above, we need to have a strong sense that our lives are meaningful, and that thought itself will help us to cope, survive and rebuild whatever that is needed from within. 
6. Hold on to your stability rocks - Stability rocks help us to remember that there are things that is within our control, mundane things such as regular exercise, some tea break in between, those things can keep us grounded and give us a sense of control. I apply this in the thought that we each have our own circle of control and some circle of influence, we have to acknowledge there are many things that is outside of our circle of control and also circle of influence. so identify those and don't get too hung up on it. This whole Covid situation can be dealt with this approach. 
7. Practice tolerating uncertainty - I think the main point here is don't try to be a control freak all the time. We can always try to do things differently and see how it turns out, be open for more possibilities. 
8. Draw on skills you've used before - this is not the first problem that we encounter, how have we cope with previous crisis? reflect on that and use the same method to survive this chapter. We've done this before, we can do it again!

Out of the 8 points there, I have been doing 7 unconsciously, so yeah, I think in a matter of being resilient in adversity,  I think I am OK. Alhamdulillah. 

Until next post, happy new year 2021! 

Wassalam. 

E.X.O

 Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Today's topic is my latest obsession. Yes, obsess is the right word. 

It started off when I watch My Annoying Brother and saw D.O for the first time. He can act. Started to find out more, that leads me to EXO, but at that time I quickly lost interest because from Wikipedia they have EXO, EXO-K, EXO-M... too much to handle.. haha.. 

Then I watched Touch Your Heart, the OST just got me. Turns out its Chen's Make it Count. Same story, and of course I ended up at the same Wikipedia page on EXO. Eh? Somehow I started watching them, and I went back all the way from their debut days, when there were still 12 members. 

I have never been interested in KPop as the tempo was not my style. Back in 2010 when SJ was super popular with Sorry Sorry Sorry and Oppa Gangnam was hitting charts worldwide, I couldn't care less. 

But something with these EXO kids, I got drawn in almost immediately. Looked up their songs, lyrics, concerts, interviews, the whole enchilada. This was sometime in 2019. Their debut was in 2012, so imagine I went back 7 years worth of material on these kids and I love it. I think I was heavily drawn to them after both Xiumin and D.O enlisted for the mandatory military service, so they were not many new updates from them as a group. Good time for me to catch up. 

This is one of my favourite song, a Japanese song. They have few Japanese song and this one is my favorite. They have been in my constant playlist in 2020.  

Cosmic Railway

Whoo, yeah yeah yeah yeah

You can’t choose the place where you’re born”

That’s just overthinking, it’s not like that

While wandering around the far ends of the sky

We came here because we wished for it

The moonlight that seems to guide me through

The interwoven days, I’m going to meet you now

Cosmic Railway

I’ll carry this feeling on board

Cosmic Railway

To return beside my beloved you

Rendezvous under the twinkling starry sky

And in the mists of time, let’s meet

Yeah yeah yeah, hmm

For you who doesn’t shed tears when hurt

I want to be a place where you can be at ease

The weaknesses that you don’t show to anyone

Even if you reveal them all here

That’s perfectly okay too

The moonlight that seems to watch over us

I’ll hug you closely, I’ll entrust everything to you

Cosmic Railway

I’ll carry this feeling on board

Cosmic Railway

To return beside my beloved you

The starry sky above us contacts us

No matter how many times, let’s cross paths again

Dramatic train

Accelerates and carries me

(And you) Among the stardust

Give a big wave at the Full moon

That seems to be smiling

Let’s go on a far off journey

Cosmic Railway, I’ll carry this feeling on board

Cosmic Railway, to return beside my beloved you

Rendezvous under the

Twinkling starry sky

And in the mists of time, let’s meet

Cosmic Railway

I’ll carry this feeling on board

Cosmic Railway

To return beside my beloved you

The starry sky above us contacts us

No matter how many times, let’s cross paths again

Woah, my love, hmm

I will still not call myself a K-Pop fan as I only listen to EXO. Other Korean song that I listened to are strictly drama OST. I don't want to start listening to other group (BTS for e.g) as I know these kids are super talented and I might loose control in trying to catch up, like I did with EXO. This one is just enough. I am heavily invested in them already. Thats enough. 

Till next time. Wassalam. 

Hwarang

 Assalamualaikum w.b.t. 

Today I missed the 5K. Tidoq balik lepas Suboh, mengantuk sangat..hahaha..So can't afford to slack off on the weekend then.😅

Ok...so how did my yesterday goes? I finished the Kdrama Hwarang. 

When I first started watching Kdrama, my SV recommended quite a few good ones. This one comes highly NOT recommended. She mentioned about poor hair and make up etc. For me, despite having my favourite Park Seo Joon as the main lead, I managed to not watch this drama.

But somehow I have this inkling to watch Park Hyung Sik and so I did.. Haha. Indeed, bad hair and make up all over, for a period drama that tells stories about elites, the hair are just messy, and to add on, cheesy acting for some especially the idols (Minho & V 😝), poor BGM, too loud at certain part that makes it hard to listen to the dialogue spoken and theres one OST that give the vibe drama melayu zaman 90an, the music, the tempo and even the vocal macam eh...cheesy nya weh..

Tu dia.. So many bad points huh 😅. Tapi hakak layan sampai episode 20 dik, because of the storyline. And since its a fiction that based on the history of one of the Three Kingdom, I think I gained a bit more knowledge watching this drama. The story was set in Silla, this is even before Joseon time.

Hwa means flower and Rang means young man or boys. So as the title says, this story is about a group of pretty young man that was gathered by the Queen in her quest to maintain control of the country while secretly preparing her son, the King to take over. After sitting at the throne for so long the Queen somehow refused to let go, and keep on insisting the King to continue living in hiding.

The King took matter in his own hand, managed to enter Hwarang pretending to be one of the officials nephew, using the name Jwi Di played by Park Hyung Sik. Another unknown figure in Hwarang is Seon U, he came as a soon to best physician in the city, who has just been reunited with his family.

Only certain group of people can enter Hwarang. They apply the Bone rank system (caste system), lebih kurang macam Harry Potter yang true blood half blood gitu.

The highest, are Sacred Bone having both side of the parents from the royal family, lower than them is the True Bone - high ranking official and allowed to hold ministerial position and they have few more layers below and lowest is peasant.

Same like any other civilization, these caste system was created to limit the society and safeguard certain group of people, which is carried forward until modern times. Enough about that, my favourite character is the hidden King and I think Park Hyung Sik played it well. Sebab tu boleh tahan tengok sampai habis, kesian ngan watak dia and you kind of empathise with him after seeing how the Queen was treating him. According to history, once the King came into power, he managed to expand Silla until they claimed land on both northern (Gugoryeo) and south (Baekje) side. He was indeed a great king, but whether or not the real king did stick to his ideals about a King should be the one living worrying about his people rather than vice versa, we don't know about that. Interesting la.

So in terms of male lead ranking, in my book, based on appeal category, Park Hyung Sik took over Park Seo Joon's position on this one. 💓

Till next time, wassalam. 

Hey Ya..!

 Assalamualaikum w.b.t. 

Tried to post yesterday tapi tak jadi. Keep on procrastinating. So today we start yet again. Can't promise to be a daily entry though as my life is not as exciting as it used to be, but its ok, I need to do this before I became dormant and immune to everything. 

So how did my yesterday goes? Same routine like any weekdays, woke up, did 5KM on the treadmill - still on track to get 100KM for this month as well. It started off last month when I joined the virtual challenge. It was a success and I decided to make it a routine. I noticed I tend to slack off on weekends, lepas Subuh bukan la tidoq balik ka apa, lagi syok belek phone tengok KDrama clips dari p tukaq baju, jalan atas treadmill. So yeah, I will allow myself to slack off on weekend and try hard to keep it up on weekdays so that I can get that 100k. 

This week I had a little setback, did 5K on Monday morning and when I lied back for a bit before continuing other routine, my back started to hurt again. I think I messed up the posture. I certainly did not overstrain myself on the treadmill, that is for sure. I mean, I only did 5k in an hour, not even close to brisk walk. So yeah, most likely the way I lied down. 

Off and on I had to lie and go into recovery position. This will be a permanent condition that I need to live with and it will happen from time to time. I have a good hang on how to manage the pain, without having to take any pain medication, which I hate because it just messed up my body anyway. I did changed my sleeping position, to either these 2: 

So yesterday, when I woke up, the pain has subsided quite a lot, and alhamdulillah I managed to complete another 5k on the treadmill. Today there are still mild pain, on scale 1-10, I would rate as 3. So its bearable. It will get better InsyaAllah. 

So that's it for today. Esok kita cerita pasal benda lain pulak. Till next time, wassalam. 

Rezeki part 2

 Assalamualaikum w.b.t

One year apart, and I am still going to talk about rezeki... Alhamdulillah!

Was speaking to Ija last week, and somehow she mentioned that since the bank interest rate has been adjusted, there should be reduction in the monthly home loan as well. I am still serving the loan for apartment in BJ and I have been diligently making partial payment to the home loan since my expat days. According to my plan, I would be able to finish all of it by the time I finished my assignment time here in Miri - expected end 2021, this is already considering partial payment, paying more than the required monthly rate etc. 

I made the plan, set up SI and forgot about it. The last partial payment was back in 2018, and I was curious how much more I need to pay, and I figured since I've been making steady deposit to the account, there should be surplus that I can use for partial payment again, just so I can speed up settling the loan. 

Pi la check pagi tadi, managed to settle 25K partial payment this morning and remaining balance is RM 22K not including interest. I've set up 2K per month for this home loan, and insyaAllah by end 2021, I would be able to settle the loan. I plan for this, but I never really monitored the payment and I'm not the type that tracked monthly expenses pun since there's a lot of break-ins here and there. 

But Alhamdulillah, my plan is going well so far. With the current economic crises, I don't know how much longer I can keep my job, but at least I will be able to serve up the loan, and keep the house in BJ. Alhamdulillah. Syukur sangat. 

The reason I'm noting it down here is as a reminder to myself. I'm proud of what I've achieved so far. 

잘 했어 - patting myself on the back.

I settled PB loan for the house in SP and I'm only 1 year away from settling this one. I am proud of myself and yet I can't say it openly for so many reasons. 

It may come across as showing off, or insensitive while others are struggling in this day and age. I don't even talk about moratorium for fear of being judged as bragging. But I couldn't help to be proud of myself. Alhamdulillah. That is all I can say. 

Coming from a family that used to scrap here and there just to make sure we pay the RM 124 monthly rent to DBKL, I am proud. I have come a long way, and that expat posting in Nigeria does wonders to helping me financially. Good job. And when this year is over, adik will be finishing her degree, and I think I won't have to worry about job security anymore. I have saved up some money for my own expenses, and some emergency funds for the kids. Hopefully that will do. That's all for now. 

I may start back the daily blogging as life in Miri in pandemic is mundane, and I don't feel like sharing too much in IG. We'll see. I just need to keep on living, keep on working, just a little bit more. Hang in there. 

Till next post. Wassalam. 

Rezeki

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh..

Just sharing something short (ya ka short..hahaha)..

This month I am almost broke (I've reached worst cash in hand before), paid adik's uni fees, so that's 5K gone, and then some other things. Just realised my spending account, CIMB has also reached its low, in fact lowest fund of all time. I've been spending without keeping good track, haish.. bad bad..

Saw one posting from one of the travelers, she's organizing a trip to Belitung Island, sooo wanted to join, but after I realised that my cash fund is hitting all time low, I have to rely on other means. I remember I did put away some money in my PB account. That account is meant for home loan, but since I've served the loan fully, its now is just a savings account. Each time I people borrow money from me, I will get them to pay back to that account.

I've taken most of the money out last year in Dec to pay for adik's uni fee then, by right the balance is only around 1K++, but since I've also auto-deducted some money on monthly basis (the one that I conveniently forget about), I figured I may have an extra 2-3K there, enough for me to join this trip..hehehe.

This PB account only comes with a passbook and I intentionally did not take the ATM card earlier as I already have the most common 2, CIMB and MBB. So all this while I've been making my transaction via the counter at the bank. The limit for transaction is 5K, anything lower should be via the machine. So yesterday I went to counter, get my ATM card and update the passbook. To my delight surprise, I actually have 20K in my account!! I mean like seriously? Of course I can't see the detail transaction right from Dec this year, but I didn't expect it to be that much, 5K is my top estimate. I guess people that I owed has been paying diligently and maybe some chunk of interest from somewhere, or did I get a cash back from the fully served home loan? macam tak..hahaha..

Oklah, no need to pening-pening. I have it and I'm glad, can top up some of my deficit this month, but I have to practice better self control moving forward. I should not be carried away. 20K seems like a lot, but it flows like water, next thing you know, all gone.

I am planning for Euro trip next year, so better behave.   :) and yes, made my deposit payment for the Belitung trip, so yes, insyaAllah I'm going.

Till next time, wassalam.