Friday, June 25, 2021

Woowww.. 4 months!

 Assalamualaikum w.b.t..

My last entry was in Feb-2021, and 4 months later only I feel the need to pen down something here again..haha. Lama jugak tu tak komplen-mengomplen ni..

Nothing much actually, I'm still in SP. Friday has always been slow..and its raining here in SP, so memang la lemau sangat. Last year I was back here in June as well, we managed to have a combined birthday celebration, but not this year. Things has gotten from bad to worse, and we can't even cross state since Jan 2021. And since June is pack load with birthday, I can't help but to go on planning mode. 

Since we can't see each other, I've been sending treats to friend who celebrated birthday this whole month long. Last week was my nephew's birthday, sent some lasagna, tomorrow is Kak's birthday, will be making something for her as well. Am still considering whether or not to buy a cake on top of it. We'll see. 

For my birthday next week, these are my planned menu: 

Breakfast like a king with homemade bagels topped with smoked salmon and cream cheese.

Lunch with Indian cuisine, vegetable pulao, chicken tikka masala, and some raita. 

Dinner like a pauper, milo secawan dengan biskut kering, takpun murukku..hahahaha.. cukup la kot 2 big meals. 

I am thinking of getting myself the ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins. Masa kat Miri complain kemain sana takda BR, balik sini, sekali pun tak jejak BR tu. Dasar munafik..hehe. 

With all these planning, I came to a realization.

In the end, only you will be there for you and you alone, all along. Period. 

I guess thats what gave me courage to travel solo back when I was clueless about travelling. I know somehow, someway I will only have me to depend on, to cheer me on, to have any hope on anything else. There will be no one else, my 20s me had a certain hope before, my 30s me somehow realize that its not gonna happen, and my soon to be 40 me know without a doubt, full conviction, that's it will only be just me. 

Friends and family will be there, but I will be in their agenda when needed. At the point I serve no purpose, I'll be on my own, I am on my own. Fact.

That's all for now. Very much looking forward to my birthday menu. Till next time. Wassalam.