Virtual Industrial Training

 Assalamualaikum w.b.t, 

Few years back when I was still in PD, I was very much involved in taking interns and supporting my alma mater, School of Chem Engine UiTM in supervising Design Project students. When I went to NG, everything stopped because of the distance. After I came back things with the university has been very quiet, and somehow this year, my former lecturer contacted me on this virtual industrial training. 

The thing is with pandemic and all, not many companies are taking interns or student trainee, and even worse when most company are encouraged to work from home, how can the student get any placement at all? My company is currently going for re-org, so there's no way anybody will get any placement at all. But for the students, life has to go on, they need to complete it, in order to graduate. Hence the faculty comes up with the virtual industrial training option. 

I jumped at the opportunity as I feel some kind of void without all these extra curricular activity to keep me occupied, I mean work will never end but there must be something more. Consulted my boss, asked for his permission as I will be using my time on this. Definitely my work will be top priority and what I agreed with him, I will supervise and share my experience based on my own capacity. No specific assignments that will need them to get confidential information from the company. 

I think that part is clear, they are committed to me, not the company, there is no confidentiality agreement signed anyway, so I can't give anything to them that is company specific. Which is still fine, as there a lot of resources online that they can refer to. My job is to provide guidance and share what industry look like and how all these knowledge are being applied in a real operating condition. 

Its week 3 now, the MO is I structured a program and used their current FDP to develop more scopes that is relevant to the industry. Kira macam extended research on their part, because as per the course requirement, its not part of their deliverables. Sounds pretty simple at first, taaapiiiii...... I need to prepare what I want to expose them to, before I can give any assignment, and the challenging part is we only booked 1 hour for me to brief them, so time is limited. Week 1 was fine, sebab intro ja, so it went well. Week 2 was a bit more challenging as I was sharing a concept that they've heard off but only on surfaced level. The whole session was 1.5 hours, kering tekak weh..hahaha.. In terms of preparing the slide and content, it was not bad, because the subject is my forte so materials are abundance. I gave them an assignment that I think its quite hard and I was expecting some of them (all 3 of them) to at least contact me for further consultation, but as of now macam senyap jaaa.. kalau depan mata boleh tanya and check on them. I don't want to be spoonfeeding them, so yeah just have to wait and see. I don't think I would turn into a nag though. Dulu zaman darah muda I did loose my calm, tapi it was a rare occasion.. hahaha. 

Am preparing week 3 material now, which is not my forte but I've had some experience it it, definitely not my comfort zone, so its a challenging task for me. I've been enjoying the journey so far, preparing the materials and engaging the students, also the interaction with my former lecturer. I think I can try going into the academic line, but I just need to buck up, focus, p belajaq balik, ambik Master and PhD, then I'm all good. We'll see how. For now, I think I'm not done working yet, and I still have lots of bills to pay..haha. 

Nak belajaq balik pun cost money and at this age, no way I can get any sponsorship..hahaha. 

Okla, till next time. Wassalam. 

Pergi Tak Kembali

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh..

My last post talks about my then emotional state of being. I did went for my Nordic adventure. Had loads of fun, but before that had some series of unfortunate events or bad luck (as KBB put it). First it was my worry that something were to happened at home while I'm on holiday, and then there was this incident in the work place that caused me to be hospitalized for 4 days!

I fall on my back on the last day of a site visit to a terminal. Quite fair bit of fiasco, to the point that MEDEVAC were to be activated. I told my travel mates, they assured me that they will help me with my luggage, and it's not like we were in Amazing Race or something :). I was working from home until the day I traveled.

And my series of unfortunate event did not stops there, the day I was supposed to travel, Nov 23rd, Lufthansa's pilot decided to launch a strike. So I had a choice of waiting for a later flight, or change to another flight. Without much thought I booked Turkish Airline ticket direct to Copenhagen to meet up with the rest. The original plan to transit in London went bust because of it. There goes my another pair of cheap Clarks! hehe..If I were to wait for the later Luthansa flight, the whole itinerary will have to be changed as well, so no can do.

So there I go happy-happy joy-joy in Scandi. I will save the travelog later. Our last destination was Stockholm. I have to leave early to make it to Shaz's wedding. I was supposed to meet with my parents at the wedding and head home direct to NG after that wedding. Before I touched down KL, mak informed me ayah is already on wheelchair, definitely could not make it to the wedding. Without further ado, I've tried to delay my return flight back to Nigeria, but all Emirates flights seems to be fully booked on the tentative fly back dates. I've tried both ticketing offices, Stockholm, and Dubai and by the time I touched down KL, I knew for sure that I will not be able to change my flight ticket back to Nigeria.

That very day I touched down, I bought a one way Air France ticket, end destination Port Harcourt. No point for me to return to Lagos and waste another day there. Booked MAS return ticket to AOR and I attended Shaz's wedding with the peace of mind that I am travelling back to SP on Monday, the day after the reception.

I flew back with 1.30 PM flight to AOR, adik fetch me and rather than heading straight to the hospital (ayah was admitted on Friday night, mak spare me the news, as I was busy with Shaz's wedding), I went back to take a bath and quick nap as I was having massive headache from few days lack of sleep. The plan is to go to the hospital at 6PM.

Around 5.50 PM, another sister texted the news, ayah no longer there. He has peacefully passed away. Innalillahi wa inna ilahi rojiun.. This was on the 12th Dec 2016, Monday. We head straight to the hospital, and when we got there, ayah's remains was still in the ward, yet to be transferred to the mortuary. I stayed with mak, clearing all the hospital documentations etc and was with mak in van jenazah heading back home. Some people may beat themselves up for not being able to see their parents before they finally departed, but for me, I will not do that. Terkilan maybe, but I am even more thankful that I was there back in SP when all these happened. Imagine if I were in Nigeria, or on a cruise somewhere, how much help can I render to the family. I am really thankful of Allah's planning, the timing especially. Syukur sangat-sangat, dah besar rahmat I was there to help mak uruskan mana yang patut, and not be scrambling for flight tickets and what not.

Meanwhile my neighbours quickly helped to set the house ready for us. By the time we got back, all has been prepared for us. Jenazah was laid to rest the following day around 12 PM. The whole process were smooth alhamdulillah. My sister witnessed the ghusl at the masjid, and she mentioned that the kariah took time to properly complete it, they were not rushing, which is good for the jenazah I guess. Should be handled with care. So there it is, ayah has left us, went to see his Creator. Until a few days after his demise, there a few people came over to the house to look for Pak Long Usop, as he was fondly known off by the kampung folks. Some of them did not get the news, and ayah is the kind of person that can talk to anybody he met at coffee shop. Ayah's phone was not working and even if it was, these people are the random people that he met all around. You know how kampung folks are, some has mobile, some doesn't. But I guess by now, most of ayah's acquaintances already knew about his passing.

Till next time, wassalam...

Dah Terlanjur...

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh....

These past few days, I've been seeing desperate individuals reaching out to collect some cash. These are the people running few orphanage in KL area. I have no qualms in giving, but the questions is until when? We have a cyclic problem in our society. Come Ramadhan, people showered all these orphanage with all kinds of stuffs, and they are left forgotten for the rest of the year.

And the people in these orphanage, they meant well, but they don't have the survival sense sometimes. Many NGOs in Malaysia are banking on people's donation, which is definitely not sustainable by any means. And when it comes to times like this, they will be having overdue payments for many things, house rent, petrol, etc... One lady was on the verge of being evicted because of these over due.

I came from a poor family, but no matter how little money that we had, Mak made sure that we will have no overdue on rent, and other utilities. We would go on for some days without proper food. I still remember one day, I wandered around the back road towards Flat Sri Sabah, hoping to find any tapioca, or any plant that I can take home and cook. We were that poor, but I always remembered Mak paying the bills on time, no late payment whatsoever.

I've had this dream of building a self sustainable orphanage. And my ex-boss always say, if you want to do a charity, pick a high CEP charity. CEP stands for Current Estimated Potential, to cut the story short, get into a charity that is sustainable. As the saying goes, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.". Right now I have so many ideas for these houses. The kids are all physically well, surely there must be something that they can do.

How I wish I am in Malaysia right now. No doubt, here I earned big bucks, and I do give some to them, tapi sampai bila? I will not earn like this forever. Once I am no longer an expat, I will have limited resources to share with them. Therefore I am thinking of kicking off a self sustained project with these people. But the problem is, I need to be physically there to at least pull something together.

Sometimes, I just want to pack and leave, there is not much that I can do here, apart from transferring money, which to me is only temporary help. I am in too deep with my commitments to just walk away now, from my work. Countless times that I have thought of leaving and set up my own business, be independent, countless times!. I love my job, don't get me wrong, it pays good money, I have no complaint. But in the end, is it all money that I want? Surely there is more to that.

I am now slowly settling my debt. By the time I am done with my 4 years assignment here, hopefully all the home loans are settled, and maybe if I am careful enough, I might save some capital to start my own business. I hope I have the strength to venture into the independent world outside. InsyaAllah.

Till next time, wassalam...

Hidup Huru Hara...and for what?

Assalamual'alaikum w.b.t,

My life has been a complete mess of upside down for the past few weeks. Many reasons but let me just tell you two :)

One, we (the women at work) has been working on converting a cabin from a construction project to a mini library. I was tasked to be head of the furniture team. We started off by having a charity carwash on 9th May whereby the employees are asked to bid for their choice of leadership team members to clean their car. Of course, there were some hesitation at first in getting people to bid, :P but after a bit of persuasion, we managed to get the bid in. It was a success, we managed to raise more than RM 1500 in both bidding and donations.

volunteers playing a fool

this group really did their thing :D

From that money, off we went to IKEA and of course Jusco to splurge on the bookcases and pillows, the end result..tara...!!!

Furniture's team vision came true ;) Feature wall was done by a contractor, painting was taken care by other task force

The collection of Malay version of Harry Potter. My gift to the kids !!

Seronoknyala boleh summarize 1 month of hardwork to 2 para and 4 pictures (you wish is it that easy..hehehe..) Regardless, we handed over the library to the folks, and PD womens club will follow up to maintain the library.

In the midst of running around organizing stuffs for the library, I was also running around KL-PD almost once every 3 days or so, all because to settle things that leads to me being here. Where? Here, in a soon to be my rice bowl country, insyaAllah. As mentioned before, I received a new job offer, and yes, I am now in Nigeria. I am not starting work yet. I am on my APT (assignment preview trip). Leading to this, I need to get my medical check up done, which leads to multiple types of vaccination, you name it, I would most probably have the shots already, starting from the famous yellow fever vaccine, rabies (3 shots!!) , meningitis, hepatitis and yes I am still due for typhoid once I get back next week. Those shots are all taken in KL and I was scheduled to get it on Wednesday, so yes, KL-PD dah macam Cheras to Times Square dah gayanya...tiring OK!!

What more with the whole visa application, chasing letters from the Hague and all kinds of bureaucratic matters. At last I managed to get my visa on Friday 14th June. Flight confirmed on 15th, what kind of time gap that I have :P and that is not the whole of it, I still need to apply for my actual visa once I got back in KL. This is only a once off business visa for the APT trip only.

Let me just share the legs of travel this far (and I am not even at the final destination yet).
Friday:
2200H : Taxi from flat to LRT Cheras
2220H : LRT Cheras to Tasik Selatan
2240H : ERL from Tasik Selatan to KLIA
2320H : Reached KLIA (I prefer the train from KL Sentral, non stop and only 28 minutes to KLIA)

Saturday:
0330H : KUL-Doha (flight time est 7.5 hrs)
1100H : Reached Doha , 1 hours break before transit
1200H : Doha - Lagos (flight time est 7.5 hrs)
1900H : Reached Lagos (local time around 1400H)

ye...nama saya binti Yusop..hahaha..dieya, totally got you :D

ample space for my foot..tidoq tak hengat!!

Am staying in for the night. Tomorrow morning (0900H local time) I'll be flying to my final destination, Port Harcourt. It will be a 1 hour flight. And from Monday till Thursday, I'll be meeting my future team mates, bosses and potentially neighbors too..!! Can't wait :)

on the way to hotel from airport. normal scene for them, well at least much better than begging, they earn their living and nothing wrong with that.

Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway (Live American Idol Christmas Special)

Assalamualaikum w.b.t,

I have been taking Uncle Lee's advice quite literally, keeping a song in my heart, and this one would be it for the next few months :)



da da da da da da da da da da da da da........

Money Matters, Does it? or It Does Not?

A friend texted me, she was asking my opinion if she is about to be introduced to a guy that earn less that she did. The introduction is meant to end in marriage, if both parties agreed, not just meeting some random acquaintances. Here's what I think, (mix a bit of both English and Malay..sorry.. :) )

Dalam hadis ada menyebut tentang cara memilih jodoh, perempuan macam mana....maybe kita boleh ambik sedikit sebanyak...

"Wanita dinikahi kerana empat faktor, yakni kerana harta kekayaannya, kerana kedudukannya,kerana kecantikannya dan kerana agamanya. Hendaknya pilihlah yang beragama agar berkat kedua tanganmu. " (HR. Muslim)
 

1. Harta kekayaan, yang ni subjektif, not necessarily duit yang banyak, boleh juga jadi budi bahasa, sopan santun dan budi pekerti. Memang duit tu penting, tapi kalau kaya tapi miskin budi bahasa, kita nak jatuh cinta pon susah kan, belum bab nak blend in ngan family kita lagi..
 
2. Kedudukan...hmm..kedudukan di mata siapa? mata manusia, atau mata Allah...? pada aku pada mata Allah yang patut kita target. Yang ni kita kena nilai sendiri, there is no shortcut way to it. Aku cadangkan, kenal dulu...tgk mcm mana gaya dia, pada aku, orang yang ada kedudukan di mata Allah, hidupnya dirahmati, dalam kata lain, x bnyk masalah yang pelik2 dan complicated...and miskin is not one of them. Miskin is just a condition they are born with. If he managed to demonstrate that he has work his best nak kurangkan jurang kemiskinan, good for him, orang macam ni ada potensi. Nampak dia ada usaha nak tingkatkan kualiti hidup. Orang yang tak dirahmati Allah sentiasa dalam masalah, not the kind that yang Allah nak uji, tapi masalah yang terang2 cari sendiri. Now you don't want to drag yourself in his neverending problem. Aku tau memang susah nak tau orang tu ada masalah ke tak kalo takat jumpa 2-3 kali, tapi bab2 ni ko boleh risik2 rasanya..

3. Kecantikan, again, this is subjektif, cantik kat mata ko, x semestinya cantik kat mata aku, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so ni mmg taste masing2. Just that ingatlah, jodoh kita insyaAllah akan kekal seumur hidup, so kalo muka cam pecah rumah, sudi ke nak mengadap hari2 sampai tua? hehehe...asal sedap mata ko memandang, ok la tu.. hensem2 sgt kang ko pulak rasa tergugat...takut ramai pompuan yang kejar dia because of his looks :P

4 Agama, last but not least...yang ni penting. I don't think I have to elaborate. Ko nak cari calon suami, yang bakal jadi imam ko, imam anak2 ko. Kalo dia sendiri tak betul, and tak nampak gaya nak betulkan hidup dia, then, its not worth your investment. Imam maksud aku kat sini is pemimpin, yang bukan takat tau cakap, tapi x pandai nak buat, yang bole lead solat jemaah ko satu family....Tgk solat, tu sgt penting, kalo solat pon hujung2 waktu, camna dia nak bimbing orang lain...

Logically speaking, hidup perlu duit, tapi duit bnyk mana pon x cukup. Memang susah nak cari lelaki zaman sekarang yang boleh compete ngan income kita. Ada, but almost all are taken. Tgk berapa jauh jarak pendapatan dia ngan ko, kalo RM2K vs 5K...macam agak jauh. Kalaula korang kahwin, can you maintain your current lifestyle? That is the compromise you have to make. And with his income, can he provide you a good life, if not comfortable?

One more thing, with lower income, what about the level of education, SPM? Diploma? Degree?  Ni pon penting jugak, just so you can see eye to eye with him. You are going to live forever for quite sometime, so I would imagine, at least kalo xde pelajaran tinggi pon, asalkan tak kolot dan mahu terima pendapat orang, insyaAllah ok.. Aku paling pantang orang yang rasa diri dia betul je, no matter what.

Well...panjang pulak aku bersyarah... ni semua pendapat aku je, yang mana ko boleh terima pakai, amikla, yang mana rasa x sesuai tu, anggaplah beza pendapat ye ;)

Yang penting ko kena nilai baik buruknya, pendapatan kurang bukan faktor besar, banyak lagi benda2 lain yang kita patut tgk. So aku sarankan, kenal dulu orangnya, unless kalo ko rasa gaji dia rendah sgt, and ko taknak bagi harapan palsu, then don't. Kalo agak2 ok, cuba kenal dulu...Allah Maha Mengetahui....    

I hope I said the right thing. At least that is how I see the issue, there is no clear right or wrong in scouting a potential husband with less income than what we currently make, but lets not be blinded, life is not always about money, but money is a big part of life. This is not just for her, for me as well. Though I may not be in her position yet, but its a reminder for me, my sort of check and balance.

Hakikat Kematian

I was woken up at ~4am this morning by a single phone call. It was my nephew, my cousin's son. He told me his father passed away at 2.20am. He asked for my favour to bring his youngest brother who is now studying in PD back for the funeral. I am in the middle of plant shutdown, and by right could not afford to be away. But after like 5 minutes thought, I agreed.

I jumped out of bed and was ready to put on my shirt and jeans, and then it hit me....baju kurung la!!! I took a quick glance at my collection, all are bright and happy colours..(whats with wearing black to funeral?) At last I settle with a orange floral printed on black background. I went on and picked up my nephew at his place and we depart PD around 5am. For a long distance drive I normally would blast my music to almost max but since my passenger is someone who just lost a father, that would not be very appropriate, wouldn't it? Now, where is that thumb drive with Al-Quran mp3?? So I tuned in to IKIM.fm instead.

We reached Jengka 8 around 8++am. Few of my aunties were there already. Their neighbours were coming in and out of the house. I met my cousin, she was calm, sitting by her late husband's body. After sending my mums regard, I recited Yaasin and after I finished, I basically don't know what else to do. Honestly, I have never been to a funeral where the remain is still there. Most of the neighbours are chatting away, I overheard some of the conversation, but after a while, I don't think I would like to stick around and listened to it further. I guess its part of the Malay culture, they never really considered the deceased's family's feeling, they just talk like it doesn't matter. Banyak topik perbualan yang memburukkan tuan rumah, even if the are not my family I don't think it is appropriate to be talking ill of the anybody at all, let alone during the difficult times like this.

The remains was brought to the graveyard around 10.30am. While they were lowering down the body, I caught a glimpse of arwah's face. Suddenly there is a rush of emotions, I could not contain myself. I started to cry, not because of arwah (I was not so close to him anyway) but because I was reminded about myself, my death, my funeral, my ending in this world. Waktu tu automatic istighfar banyak-banyak...I don't want to be overcome by my own emotion. I was holding my cousin, and she started to loose it. Both her daughter in law tried to calm her down. But it seems to me, the moment anybody said, "Sabar ye mak...kesian kat ayah...." she just got more and more emotional.

I took her away, I asked her to istighfar with me, and Alhamdulillah, she managed to calm down. The istighfar works!! Subhanallah...I keep on reciting istighfar with her, just so she would not loose it anymore and at the same time to calm myself as well. Everything was over in half an hour, and then we got back to the house. I stayed until lunch and left around 2pm.

Today I realized, we are never prepared to face death, be it anybody's or let alone our own. I think, with a straight mind, we pretty much know how to behave when visiting the deceased or the family, but sometimes, emotions just got over us and all we need is a simple reminder.

Something worth to share...Adab Ziarah Orang Meninggal 

From this, I have two topics to explore, which are, why wear black to a funeral? and why do we recite Yaasin to the dead? Give me sometime, I'll try to find out, insyaAllah...

Simple Life

My simple pleasures :

• Eating a hot steaming plate of white rice berlaukkan sardin dalam tin yang dimasak dengan kentang
• Listening to guitar strumming songs (Oasis-Wonderwall, Nidji-Laskar Pelangi, Glee Cast - Over the Rainbow, Greenday-21 Guns, Time of My Life)

• Watching the rain lapping on the ground
• Dancing in the rain
• Strolling aimlessly in some shopping complex (or somewhere crowded yet nobody knows me)
• Able to watch 2 (or more) movies in cinema back to back without anybody pastering me to go home.

This is a living list. Anytime when the going gets tough....I'll try to remember what are the simple things in life that I treasure :)

Farewell : The Dream Chaser

A friend leaves the company today. She sent out her last note. Though she is faraway in a state that is hyped up with campaign right now, I can feel her so close.

She mentioned it few months back, so I was not in a shocked. She has always been the one that lives her life the way she wants it. Who would have thought that a hijab wearing girl would wear a mini skirt? Well, she did (not in the kind cultured shocked kid would do). I still have your pictures in those minis….(it was Wati’s open house in 2006)

She said she wanted to do something that she likes. I don't know the details but as the title of her last mail, she is chasing her dream. I applaud her for being brave to do that. Its a bold move, and I don't have that guts, though I wish very much about it.  
When I read her email, I feel happy for her. I may not have her courage, but I am really glad she has taken the step.

All the best to you, Asma......If you are well on the way in making that travel show....I nak ikut!!!!!  :) Keep in touch girl...dah sampai semenanjung let me know, we meet up, am dying to know what your plans are..(kepochi kan?) :P

Salam Maal Hijrah 1432H

Salam menjelang tahun baru ;)

Another year is going to pass. What have we done? is it enough, was it a better year? Time to reflect and dig deep inside, see where we are, and moving forward what else do we need? Our days are numbered, what is it that we look for in life anyway? Questions and more questions, the answers lies beneath us.

pic ehsan pakcik google, kat sini hujan tiap2 petang, nak amik gambo sunset memang x sempat...

Anyhoo...Salam Maal Hijrah to us, all of us. May Allah bless another day, another year in each and every life of ours.

Some useful links especially for days like these, doa di sini..., peristiwa hijrah, read more here

"Dan sesiapa yang berhijrah pada jalan Allah (untuk membela dan menegakkan Islam), nescaya ia akan dapati di muka bumi ini tempat berhijrah yang banyak dan rezeki yang makmur; dan sesiapa yang keluar dari rumahnya dengan tujuan berhijrah kepada Allah dan RasulNya, kemudian ia mati (dalam perjalanan), maka sesungguhnya telah tetap pahala hijrahnya di sisi Allah. Dan (ingatlah) Allah Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Mengasihani."

An-Nisa : 100 

Down Memory Lane...Shah Alam pt 2

On Tuesday after work around 6pm I made way to Shah Alam. Already had plans to meet these kids at 9pm to discuss on the final presentation for DP1. After check in the hotel, I went straight to my school (yes we call it school!!). The kids were waiting and I can see nervousness in them. After going through their slides, I made them present once, and along the way I corrected few that I think would be relevant.

I gave them few pointers and also shared my pet peeves when it comes to presentation (things like pointing with finger, definitely a big NO). I can see there are few other groups that is getting ready as well. And my group's slide is only like 50% finished. Am a bit worried though, but I left at 11.30pm, still need my sleep right? ;) Stopped by Seksyen 2 to buy dinner..as I was waiting for my Nasi Goreng Pattaya, I texted few classmates.

"Salam, aku kt Shah Alam ni, volunteer jadi co-sv bdk design project,br abis discussion grp yg aku handle,sok dorang present,aku kt sek2,beli makanan ni,nostalgia betul....."

It was nostalgic, for UiTM student, sek2 is the main place for our food supply, and yes the daging merah that comes with nasi goreng pattaya still tasted the same!! could not get it anywhere else ;)

Some of the reply that I get :

E-kin: Asal ko ttiba tjebak jd volunteer ni? Ai,mmgla nostalgia....

Eza: Slm,wah bestnya.aku pon windu gila zaman belajar dulu...

Nisah (my groupmate for DP) : Yea ke? aku trkjut dpt msg ko. Mcm mana budak skrang buat design? aku dulu ingt lagi tumpg Hirda (another groupmate) naik skuter g kolej ko. dkt pg baru balik...

P-jal: mmg nostalgia....especially kalo esok ko gi skul jln kaki, pastu sampai je org wat ppt ko wat pose 'main snuker'!! Hahahaha.... 

Umai: Wah...best bangat! Aku rindu ms kt uitm. rindu kt environment dia...kalo dpt rase smula ms dl kn best ek..g kelas, mkn reramai...huhuhu...

I reached UiTM next morning at around 8 am. Went to school, saw the presentation schedule. Few familiar names on the panel. (Now they have Dr. with their names!!). First group start at 9am. The kids will be presenting at 11.30am. At first I was not in the panel, as I RSVP quite late, but upon seeing me, my lecturer Cik Noni, asked me to be in (she only taught me one class, yet she still remembers me (+my name)!!)

While waiting for the presentation to start, I tried to find those names that sees me before as this sleepy head with 'snuker pose' , who used to wear torn jeans to class and somehow managed to graduate. I went to their room but they were not in. I even bumped into my SV for DP and yes, he remembers me as well!! 

Later, I hang out at the foyer, where everybody is. One by one familiar faces came by. Our batch is among the first few batches, so most of the lecturers that I knew are the one that started their teaching as our class being the first student. And they still remember me + my name!! I don't know whether to feel flattered or to be overwhelmed.

I went in at 9am to be part of the panel. My group is the third group, the first two groups are OK, definitely their slides are better than what the kids showed me last night, now I am getting nervous!!! I slipped out during Q&A of the second group, had a chat with the kids who are anxiously waiting outside. Gave some last minute pep talk and off we went.

All in all they did well. All of them answered the questions posed, with at least some level of confidence, I was suprised by some of the answers given. They actually fare off better than I thought that they would, and I am proud of them ;) and I will be with them still for DP2!!

Currently listening to : Letto - Sebelum Cahaya

On the Edge

"A girl carry with her a chair. She climbs from one floor to another. She reached 3rd floor. She tried to make way to 4th floor, but the stairs is gated. She proceed at 3rd floor. She stood on the chair,a boy saw her, trying to stop her but it was too late.

A boy, saw a girl standing on a chair. Determined of letting go. He tried to stop her, but did not succeed.

A class was in a science lab. Heard a thumping sound. Quickly ran outside. They saw whats left of a girl.

A school, shocked, traumatised by the incident. Ends a life of a bright young girl."

This is a true account of an incident . The family is someone I know, but not close. We receive the news of the daughter deceased, but cause of death was not disclosed. School keep it low, but people talked. Apparently this girl is said to be having a boyfriend, which the father did not approve. Somehow maybe there has been many other things that pushed this girl to take her own life. She was said to have posted in FB that heaven is a much nicer place for her. The family did not take any action against the school. The girl's last moments were recorded in the school's CCTV. I guess the family is aware of the ongoing battle, but did not see that she resorts to suicide. None of us would have, I guess?

Teenage is a very fragile stage, you either make it or break it. Family is important. Religious value is paramount. A life should not end this way.

An-Nisa, ayat 29

Sahih International

O you who have believed, do not consume one another's wealth unjustly but only [in lawful] business by mutual consent. And do not kill yourselves [or one another]. Indeed, Allah is to you ever Merciful.

Malay
Wahai orang-orang yang beriman, janganlah kamu makan (gunakan) harta-harta kamu sesama kamu dengan jalan yang salah (tipu, judi dan sebagainya), kecuali dengan jalan perniagaan yang dilakukan secara suka sama suka di antara kamu, dan janganlah kamu berbunuh-bunuhan sesama sendiri. Sesungguhnya Allah sentiasa Mengasihani kamu.

The Trouble with Love is....

I could not hold this anymore. just finished talking to a friend (more like a big sister). She's pregnant with her 7th child and her 'beloved' husband is now having a young girlfriend. She was looking for a shoulder to cry on. She keeps telling me how she loss sleep over the man's behaviour.

That is the problem with women, they love somebody to much and keep everything very dear to them. I keep on telling her its not her fault that the man went out with some young chic. He's probably having the so called 'mid life crisis' - (konon...), man seems to have excuses for all the things that they do in life.

Women makes the biggest mistakes when they love a man more than they love themselves. I guess probably that is the reason I'm not married till today, a friend once said, I'm too in love with myself. Some people define loving yourself by taking good care of themselves, which means you keep in good shape, physically fit all the time.

Well my way of taking care of my self is more on the spiritual side, I have guards, walls, or whatever you may call it, so that I won't be hurt. It would be a lie if I say I never got hurt, but I NEVER let myself to love anybody more than myself (apart from my mother and siblings) but people outside, friends especially, I'm sorry to say, I love myself above you. And I guess that is why I rarely been bogged down if a friend suddenly 'dissapeared' or people don't like me. Because I know nobody would love me like I do, so why bother?

Back to this friend's story, I told her to be strong, she has kids that depends on her. Some other day she will loss appetite and will not be eating after an overnight argument with the 'man'. In the end she and her poor baby will suffer. I tried to remind her to be strong, women are not supposed to rely on men to make them happy, we must make ourself happy. I sort of said something like this to her.. ...

"I know that it is hard, you are husband and wife, he is the father of your kids, but you must be strong, you must not let him determine how you feel, you must take care of yourself, nak-nak lagi ada yang dalam perut tu. The baby will count on you to take care of her, the 'man' don't give a damn. If anything happens, he will surely blame you, so you have to be strong, insyaAllah, Allah is with you.."

The man is egoistic, she said that he told her, if ever you are feeling oppressed, zikir, solat sunat, Allah will help you (pandai kan nasihat orang?) and when my friend did all these and still feels depressed, he said nampak sangat Allah tak sayang my friend. How can he say that, you guys imagine, a woman, pregnant, + kids at home + busy with work, suddenly the husband main kayu tiga with some young chic, hati siapa tak hancur? And he is so bold making that kind of statement.

So again to stress my stand. Do not ever love anybody more than you love Allah, your mother and yourself. I pray the best for her.

p/s: I know some people would give me this statement, ko senang la cakap, ko tak kahwin lagi, cuba dah kawin tgk macam mane?
my answer would be, I learnt from others' mistakes, and I would be a fool if I still repeat what others do, not to say I know everything, am learning at the same time, but I always prioritise myself above anybody else (except my mother) insyaAllah I'll be fine.

Allah Lebih Sayangkan dia....

We are welcoming the new year, bet many are recollecting their moments of 2009. I never thought it would come to this day. One of my closest friend passed away this morning. She has been sick for quite a while. Last communication I had with her was during her birthday on 3rd Dec 09. She was opting for traditional meds after being in and out of hosp for 2-3 times. She sounds hopeful, I wanted to see her quite a few times but I guess she was to embarrassed with her condition. I should have insisted. And now I could not see her forever....

My dear friend, Rasidah Md Yusof passed away this morning at the age of 28. May she rest in peace and may this be a reminder to all of us that living is not just about living, how prepared are we to go 'there'?. May Allah bless her soul and I know Allah loves her more than I do.....

Al Fatihah...

[1]Dengan nama Allah, Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani.

[2]Segala puji tertentu bagi Allah, Tuhan yang memelihara dan mentadbirkan sekalian alam.

[3]Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani.

[4]Yang Menguasai pemerintahan hari Pembalasan (hari Akhirat).

[5]Engkaulah sahaja (Ya Allah) Yang Kami sembah, dan kepada Engkaulah sahaja kami memohon pertolongan.

[6]Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus.

[7]Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau telah kurniakan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan (jalan) orang-orang yang Engkau telah murkai, dan bukan pula (jalan) orang-orang yang sesat.

Aminn......

Tafsir from here

Let's Read the Quran

I have been so self indulged lately, till I forgot the spiritual side of myself. Am at this workshop at work and managed to surf blogs that I have been neglecting recently. Stumbled upon this campaign by MM and I deserve some slap in the face, yup definitely deserve it.

I am reminding myself to take time and make use of it more wisely, learn and truly understand on the hidden treasure in the Holy Quran. I used to read on weekly basis, back in Uni days but now I sort of drop off the routine from my daily to-do-stuffs. I don't have a tafsir with me, but I'll begin reciting again. Well it takes small steps before a big leap.

Ya Allah, give me enough strength and willpower to keep this resolution. Give me endurance to stay on your track, and give your blessing in what I intend to do...Amin..